Memory Lane https://poets.media/memory-lane-6
Traversing the roads that whined through my mind. Memories on both sides. One memory leads to the next. Turning corners at intersections of thoughts and reminders. Sometimes taking corners to fast and getting thrown off track then having to turn back around and find where I left off. How did I get here from there? I retrace my steps. Traversing farther into my own past. Visiting happy places and avoiding the places I’d rather not remember. I can never stay on one path. Memory Lane has too many detours ahead. I go from here to there and journey backwards in time. Never knowing when I will be back again. I wonder if I should be mapping this out. Sometimes I’m not sure where I started this little tour but, I am here now. The trees and the wind and the smell of a memory. Reminding me of so many things. Sparking memories of days gone past and a longing to share them with others. So, my memories I decide I will share. I will write them all down for others to read. I will try my best to entertain. Until the day comes when only my travels down Memory Lane are all that is left of me.
I Get Lost In Here
I know that I often times, get lost in here.
I cannot explain why or how. I just get lost in here.
I am adrift in my own mind. Not doing the things I should be doing
Not doing the things I planned to do. I just get lost in here.
I have tried for so very long to find my way around it. To find my way through it.
To just get past all of this insanity. Still, I just keep getting lost in here.
It is like a mental illness that I see and do not recognize as mine.
It takes only but a moment to get swept away. It takes all of the rest of the day to muddle my way out. Not knowing how I found the exit.
It happens. It happens a lot.
I get lost in here.
To be amazing. To be loved. To be famous.
I wanted to be all of these things.
I was not always accepted. I was not always expected.
I see what I wished I was. I hear how I wished I sounded.
Where is my talent? Where is my voice?
Alone I am all the things I wish I was.
In the company of others, I could not ever be myself.
I would not dare. The people might stop and stare.
What was I hiding from? From where do these feelings come?
Then the day came. It was now or forget it forever.
Stand up and sing. No worries about what this moment will bring.
Originally published at poets.media.